


I love him so much [Mavin]

by FoulLily



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavin - Fandom
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, Self-Harm, i dont know, im bad with tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2169174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoulLily/pseuds/FoulLily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SELF-HARM WARNING</p><p>Gavin saw something, something that broke his heart, and led him to do something he's never done before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love him so much [Mavin]

He loved him, he loved him with all his heart, so seeing the man he loved kissing a woman in the office broke his heart.

Gavin loved Michael, but no one knew. He liked keeping it a secret, though he knew everyone, not including Michael wouldn't make fun of him for it. Though it wasn't easy to tell people you loved someone, when it seems they don't love you back.

Gavin held his breath when he saw Michael kissing a girl in the office, Lindsay. He didn't mean to spy, or even see it, but he was going to ask Michael if he wanted to go out for a drink with him. He thought twice about asking the man as he watched the two make out at Lindsay's desk.

As they finally broke the kiss, Gavin walked off, forcing back the tears that were building in his eyes. He wasn't going to let this get to him, if Michael didn't love him, he had to deal with it. At least that's what he kept trying to remind himself of.

The next day was difficult, he was faking smiles, he wasn't as happy or spirited as he was before. He stopped making jokes, and laughing as much. It was worrying everyone, but no one questioned him about it.

The office was tense, the air thick with how awkward everyone was feeling. They knew something was up with Gavin, but no one wanted to ask why. Gavin on the other hand was thankful no one said anything. He knew he wasn't being himself, but the image of Michael and Lindsay was stuck in his mind. He had excused himself a few times during the day to go cry in the bathroom, or outside in the parking lot.

Though he was now sitting at his desk like the other five guys, doing some editing, or he should be. He was staring at the screen, hand on the mouse completely unmoving. He was thinking about Michael kissing Lindsay again and cursed himself for being so stupid. He had to move on, if Michael didn't like him, or if he wasn't gay, he had to deal with it. However, it seemed to be easier said than done.

"Gavin!" Gavin jumped, looking at Michael shocked. "You were about to break your mouse dude." Gavin looked down, and indeed there were dents where he was gripping the mouse. Michael frowned at the look in his eyes, he seemed to far away from everyone right now.

\---

The week wasn't much different. Gavin was as depressed as ever. He was almost unnoticed in Let's Play's, or didn't participate in any at all. He spent most of his time thinking about Michael and Lindsay, even when he was trying to make himself feel better. He's loved Michael for a few years now, and trying to let him go was proving to be the hardest thing he's ever had to do.

Gavin frowned as he headed back inside. He told Geoff he was getting some air because thinking about everything was making him sick now. When he got inside his eyes widened. Not again, he didn't ever want to see this again...

Michael had Lindsay against the wall, kissing her again. Gavin's stomach dropped and he felt tears well in his eyes. He was trying to forget, and now seeing the same scene again. His world was shattering. He couldn't deny it anymore. Without Michael, he had nothing. He forced the tears back as he went to the office, grabbing his things and leaving, ignoring how Geoff called out for him.

\---

After he paid the taxi guy, he raced inside, allowing the tears to finally fall. He ran to his room, going into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. Sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands, he let it all out. He cried and cried whatever he was holding in the past week.

He couldn't take it, Michael was everything to him, and he thought he had a chance. Though it seemed he was completely wrong.

He lifted his head up, looking at the little shaver that sat on the sink desk. He cursed to himself as he picked it up, spending two minutes ripping the plastic away, three blades dropping onto the desk.

Gav stared at the objects, debating on whether or not he should do this. He's never done it before, and after having a friend or two who had done this, he swore to himself he wouldn't allow himself to do it. Now he was here, staring at the blades he was about to use on himself.

He picked one up, hovering the blade over his arm, he was really going to do this. No he shouldn't...

As he was about to pull the blade away, the image of Michael and Lindsay popped into his mind again. Tears started to fall and he grit his teeth. He didn't give a shit anymore, if this helps him, like it helped others, he was going to do it. So he did.

Gavin glided the blade across his arm, watching as blood seeped from the thin wound. He sighed, it somehow made him feel better, though he didn't understand it. He growled when the pain just didn't seem to be enough, so he did it again and again and again, each time making a deeper cut. When his arm was basically dripping with blood he dropped the blade, the object making a loud clink as it hit the tiled floor.

Gavin held his head in his hands again, crying his heart out. He's so stupid for falling in love with someone he knew wasn't gay, he's a fucking idiot.

\---

Geoff knocked on Gavin's door for the seventh time. He was worried about the lad, so he went to check on him. Now because there wasn't an answer from inside, Geoff was starting to panic. "Gavin!? Come one dude!" Geoff yelled. When he didn't get an answer again he growled, pulling out his keys from his pocket. He never wanted to go into someones house uninvited, but this was a good enough reason to use the key Gavin gave him when he got his own place.

Geoff unlocked the door, walking inside. "Gavin?" There didn't seem to be any sign of him. However when he got closer he got to the lads bedroom he heard crying. He quickly ran to Gavin's room, knocking on the door roughly, growling when he got no answer. He kicked on the door a few times until the lock gave way, the door swinging open. He looked around the room, locating the crying coming from the bathroom, the door to the room slightly open.

He nervously walked up to the bathroom, peeking inside to see the lad crying on the toilet seat, blood pooling under him. Geoff panicked when he saw the blood, rushing over to him. "Gavin!? What the fuck have you done!?" He yelled, examining the wounds on the lads arms.

"I-I'm sorry Geoff..." Gavin whispered through the sobs, obviously trying to fight back more tears. Geoff frowned, grabbing a nearby towel, pressing it against Gavin's bleeding arm. The towel was quickly soaked with blood, Geoff keeping the pressure on it. 

"Why Gavin? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?" Geoff didn't raise his voice, he kept himself as calm as possible, however the worry in his voice was obvious.

"I..." Gavin started, hiccuping and forcing back the sobs. He shook his head, he had this secret for so long, and he wasn't sure he wanted anyone to know yet. Though it's gotten this bad, hasn't it? Maybe it was time to finally tell someone. "I-It's Mich-Michael..." 

Geoff raised his eye brow, "What about him?" 

"I l-love him...a-and I s-saw him kissing Li-Lindsay..." 

Geoff sighed quietly, sitting on the edge of the bath. "Oh Gav, why didn't you tell me?"

"I..d-didn't kn-know what to say..." Gavin sniffled.

"God Gav," Geoff growled, his rising anger quickly fading when he noticed the pained look on the lads face. "Im not mad you know just...upset. Look, even if he doesn't love you, if you don't tell him anything, your just going to end up hurting yourself more..."

"B-But...if I tell him...I just...I can't s-stand the rejection..."

"Your going to have to Gav, because just keeping this in isn't helping either." Geoff said, his tone raised slightly. Gav hugged his legs, ignoring the stinging in his arm. Geoff had a point, but he didn't really see how telling Michael would be any better.

Gav slowly nodding, "f-fine..." Geoff gave a kind smile, standing and gently patting his shoulder. 

"Good, now lets get you to bed, I want you tell him tomorrow, k?" Gav nodded and allowed Geoff to lead, and put him to bed. He laid there for no more than a minute before he was asleep.

-

The next morning Gavin kept shaking and fidgeting in his chair. He kept tugging on his sleeve when it caught on his cuts. He took the bandage off in the morning which might not of been a good idea, but he hated the bandage anyway.

It was about halfway through the day and Geoff had already reminded him he had to tell Michael, but now that he was actually here, and actually needed to do it, he was starting to freak. 

'What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he's going to hate me, or hit me? What if he'll quit Rooster Teeth because of me!?' Gavin jumped when a hand was placed on his shoulder. He looked up to Michael who was looking at him confused. 

"You ok, you've been fidgeting in your seat all day." Michael said, sitting in his seat and scooting closer to Gav.

Gavin looked around the room, quickly noticing that everyone else was gone, was it lunch already?

"So what's up?" Michael asked, curiosity obvious in his face.

Gav frowned, lower his head. Now was a better time than never, Geoff would hammer him if he didn't tell Michael anyway, so now was the best chance he was going to get. 

"I...it's just...y-you see..." Gavin just couldn't seem to get it out.

"What is it?"

"I...I love you Michael..." Gavin said, keeping his head down. He didn't want to look at Michael, look at what he guessed, no, knew was the look of horror on his friends face.

It felt like hours, which was really only a minute before Michael broke the chilling silence. "You...do?"

Gav frowned, he didn't want to say it again, "y-yes...and I-I know you...dont love me back..."

"What? Where the fuck have you heard that?"

"I saw y-you kissing Lindsay..."

"Oh, that. Dude it was a bet, I don't love Lindsay." Gav whipped his head up, looking at Michael with wide eyes.

"R-Really?"

"Yeah, and you know what?" Gav waited a second for Michael to tell him, and when he didn't continue the sentence, Gav shrugged, letting Michael know he wasn't going to guess. Michael chuckled, scooting closer and giving Gav a peck on the lips. "I love you Gav, since the day I met you. No matter how fucking annoying you are." 

Gav couldn't help but giggle, tears building in his eyes. Michael actually loved him, never in his wildest dreams would he imagine this would actually be happening.

"Come on, lets get lunch, we can talk about this further then," Michael said, standing and offering his hand to Gavin. He smiled and nervously took his best friend, nah, boyfriends hand, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet and dragged out of the office.

He has never been as happy as he was right now, he had to thank Geoff later for this.

**Author's Note:**

> YAY I FINALLY POSTED SOMETHING WORTHY!!! Sorry i haven't done anything for like, five hundred years, but I've been doing work experience and been a bit busy and tired. I also have another story in the making which is almost complete. It has smut so I hope you'll like :D


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